An Illusion Of Grandeur From A One Trick Pony

by Itch

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    CD Limited to 500 copies produced by Andy Brothwell longtime fan and friend of the band. The CD comes from Tip Toe Records based in Leeds (uk) CD's are shipped a couple of days after ordering.

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released November 18, 2009



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Itch Leeds


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Track Name: Big.Clever
You're not so big and clever,
You’re not so big and clever now,
A ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
You're not so big and clever,
you’re not so big and clever now,
Now fight your way out of a paper bag,
You're not so big and clever,
You’re not so big and clever now,
They told you once they told you a thousand times,
Once more for the cheap seats,
Don’t try that reverse psychology with me,
Answers on a postcard at the address at the end of the show,
Don’t try that reverse psychology with me,
I just piss it up against the wall you see,
You’ll see me bouncing from pillar to post,
Jackpot, Jackpot, the Jackpot,
Hit the jackpot wouldn’t you agree that there are no real winners here,
You're not so big and clever now,
And the moral of the story is they'll say?
Is you should have stuck to your guns,
By god I will sleep tonight.
Track Name: Here Comes the Cavalry
Crossing my heart who wants to die?
I sum up the world in only a line,
Take in account the politics that paper the cracks I bet you all,
Its first come first serve so fill up your boots I will blow it all to kingdom come,
I'll blow it all the kingdom come,
Four leaf clover, double the daring, pin up the horse shoe, touch wood touch wood,
Hang up your boots and call it a day,
The April shower,
April fool,
Your best shot, no cigar, the closet shave its never enough,
So hang up your boots call it a day the April showers the April fool,
You fool,
I couldn't move I couldn’t muster the strength to move in case I jinxed it,
In case I jinxed it,
Hide behind your picket fences here comes the cavalry, Here comes the cavalry,
They held it all inside their cards close to their chests, You’ve made your bed you’ll have to lie in it.
Track Name: The Bombshell (re-mix)
Say your piece out with it,
The cat's got your tongue?
The cats got your tongue,
Just say piece out with it,
You’ll know when it all hits home,
I see it’s not sunk in yet,
Chin up you’ll be kicked apart,
You’re all mouth,
One slip and they’ll all come running, in for the kill, in for the kill,
Stood there as thick as thieves,
You're all mouth,
I dropped the bombshell,
Stand aside,
You'll know when it all hits home but i see it's not sunk in yet,
O boy it will,
Because you even said we're even now,
For all it’s worth,
I dropped the bombshell,
Well there you go.
Track Name: If Worst Comes To Worst
Just bury your hatchet,
There are kings in their castles with chips on their shoulders they're only concluding and plotting revenge,
This pillows to bury your head,
This rifle will do the same,
How bloody are you're mouths?,
The bloody kids,
The bloody hell of it,
You’re under the thumb there is no need to struggle it will be over before you can say...
It's all there right living inside your bed,
The bubbled wrapped cotton wool,
Stanley knife safe at last,
Fisty cuffs iron shirts,
The worst comes to worst scenario,
Are you getting me?
Bury your hatchet,
You said it yourself it could have been worse,
Bury the hatchet.
Track Name: Butterfingers
Butter fingers,
You're kissing all hope good bye,
You're claws are in the power lines,
See the glint in their eyes they are envious,
You’re under esting, under esting, under estimating the fingers in too many pies,
So how do you fair your odds?
Highly unlikely to very likely,
It’s already happening,
Believe it’s in all that you read,
So get off your high horse,
As they will stack the odds against them pick your side and stick to it,
Just stick to it,
Two, four, six, eight you don’t appreciate.
Track Name: Fine Tooth Comb
I've seen one I've seen them all,
Look there is a another one,
With his head up in the clouds,
Swallowing the terror that swarms our banks,
It swarms our banks,
Where is the banner parade? and the open arms?
Tea on the table like an old war song,
And pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile,
Tipperary is a long way to go,
Fucking heads will roll if you jump the gun,
It's a figure of speech kept in biscuit tins,
Under fake floor boards with the old heave hoe,
What do we do with a drunken sailor?
It's early in the morning,
What do we with these drunken failures?
Shall we spell it out for the sitting ducks?
It’s the old English poets in all of us,
Are we so wrapped in our mole hills you can better your bottom dollar there is a mountain,
Take the blindest bit of notice of you,
They’ll find your cupboards and all your skeletons,
With their fine tooth combs.
Track Name: Modern Day Highway Men
There never was a light bulb above my head,
I am all out of ideas,
Put your self in my shoes don’t have a pot to piss in,
When you’re numbers up your numbers up,
Leave no stone unturned,
You made your mind up long ago,
It’s just over the next hill,
The final straw the nail is in the coffin,
Is in,
Your numbers up.
Track Name: Tom Dick and Harry
No sooner have you had yourself a hero up on the pedestal you built,
You wanna see them back were they started at the bottom of the barrel,
The expectations in the faces of the ones who love to point their fingers from the safety of their arm chairs,
They're shaking their fists saying things like “I’ll give you something to smile about!” “If I’m going down, you're coming down with me.”
You’re coming down with me,
Your money were your mouth is if your certain,
Hands were I can see them for the million dollar question,
Good night midnight over,
Your face was a picture, your face was a picture.
So what’s the plan of action now?
Defence! Defence!
You all jumped the gun,
So every once in a while,
Stick two fingers up you call that a revolution?
Better late than never,
Before you know it you’re six feet under,
White as a sheet and all the color,
It drains from your face over and over again,
So raise your glasses to pulling punches you're all part of this charade,
And who’d have thought it we had it coming are we as stupid as we look?
They’ll pull the rug out from under your feet because it’s right under your nose,
Its black and white it’s as clear as day your all part of the charade,
My famous last words not bat an eyelid yours sincerely ‘The King’,
With a pinch of salt and your tongue in cheek you’re all part of this charade,
I’ve seen and done it,
I’ve brought the t-shirt,
You’re all part of this charade.
Track Name: Shark Attack
What’s living inside haunts us all to the grave and far beyond but you’d better not say,
The chimney stacks that prop the sky your history holds and digs in its heels and you better be shore,
It keeps me guessing, am I better off not knowing?
Because given the chance you make a run for it and I’ll be there with my hands held high,
Brace yourself!
Turn your cheek they will do it again,
Because you’re empty lungs that bend the truth they will march you up and down again but I'm half way there,
It’s all on the track it’s all the line,
I can’t understand,
No such word,
If it’s not in your head it’s not in your heart,
Hot knife sinking through the butter it’s the tip of the icebergs,
So what do you want now?
The moon on a stick I suppose,
You don’t settle you don’t settle,
To comprehend the consequences of you’re actions.
Track Name: This Place Is Full Of Dinosaurs, So I Waited For The Next Big Bang And Two Came At Once
Make yourself comfortable as the channel surfing corpses pick your brains,
Sweating blood and tears,
Catching your death picking up the torch were you left off,
I’m going in the house watch the drama unfold outside it just,
Escalates, It Escalates, It Escalates,
I remember under the covers we talked about the end of the world,
You said it would definitely all end in tears,
As we didn’t stand a cat in hells chance,
We might as well just crawl right back under the rock that we came from,
Finally the penny has dropped and it hits like a ton of bricks,
You’ll be the death me,
You came to the same conclusion,
The weight on our shoulders pushed the sand between our toes again,
The books, the text and the clever lines that we ponder our lives,
Upon in the end means nothing,
You’ll be the death me,
You came to the same conclusion,
That’s there is defiantly something going, that we just can’t quite put our fingers on.
Track Name: Never In A Million Years
I got illusions of grandeur from a one trick pony,
I stood the test of time,
But have I done the honorable thing?
I have told those tales until the cows came home,
But they all say never in a million years.